Neon just did a testosterone test on stream and his result was 118 ng/dL which is way below the average levels of 600–700 ng/dL 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/tUlV9iPvao
There was a time in this country where the most prominent well-respected men in society, the ones who children idolized & aspired to be when they grew up, were soldiers and coal miners. Life was different back then. If you were lucky enough to survive infancy, you’d attend a one-room school house until you learned English well enough so that you could write cursive letters home from war someday. Then it was off to the mines so your 12 younger siblings could split a loaf of bread every night until Germany got carried away and it was time for you to go die in a trench.
Once professional sports rose in popularity things started to change a bit. Losing your right arm to have your name engraved on a plaque and a discount at the local butcher wasn’t quite as appealing as playing for the Yankees. Marylin Monroe didn’t have sex with Joe DiMaggio because he was stationed in Hawaii for a year. It was because of the .325 career batting average and 361 home runs. But at least kids who dedicate their childhood to sports grow up in a competitive environment. They learn what it means to be a part of a team. There’s plenty of valuable life lessons in that. And since there’s a physical aspect to sports, and professional athletes look like Greek gods who could beat the shit out of us in a one-on-one situation, we treat their profession with respect and don’t focus the fact that they play a children’s game for a living.
Yada yada yada, a couple wars later, Al Gore invented the internet and fucked things up for everyone. Now the American dream is to have the funniest/most interesting moment of your life captured on video (intentionally or unintentionally) so that it goes viral and skyrockets you to instant fame and fortune. Then you too can spend the rest of your life sitting in front of a camera (or behind a keyboard) commenting on videos of other people who hit the internet lottery. That reality has resulted in this being who kids want to be when they grow up.
A Kick streamer with frighteningly low testosterone levels who’s angry that somebody is copying his dancing. I fear our country is in desperate need of a war. Testosterone is literally the measure of a man, and it appears to be dying at an alarming rate. N3on’s regrettable decision to reveal his testosterone levels live on stream shows us the dark side of spending too much time online. Ironically enough, I’m afraid we’ve spent so much time being mad about strangers on the internet who choose to live their lives as different genders, that we’ve neglected our own bodies to the point that they are transitioning on their own. At least that’s what seems to be happening to N3on. For the sake of humanity, we might need Germany to attempt world takeover again. Or at least invade Poland. We need another draft.
I shudder to think what my testosterone levels would be if I were to take a test. I’d imagine I spend about as much time online as anyone. But thankfully I’ve never been tested before, so I’m free to throw stones at this effeminate Indian boy and continue operating under the assumption that my testosterone levels are perfectly acceptable for a super cool & macho adult male blogger.
I think it would be a net positive for everyone if the world’s streamers all took testosterone tests and their results came back low. It’s hard to not look at some of these super fucking annoying 20-something year old streamers who’ve already made more money than most people will in their entire lives and not kinda hate them. If we found that all of them had the testosterone levels of a pre-pubescent boy, that would be a nice little win for regular people. “Haha look at this loser. I wouldn’t even want millions of dollars in my bank account if it means I’m scientifically less of man.”
It would balance the scales a bit. Ignore the fact that all these streamers have more than enough money to afford the newest, most effective testosterone drugs that will probably have their T-levels to normal within a month. Those drugs probably shrink your balls anyways. That’s even more embarrassing. If there’s one thing I know about women, it’s that they’ll never get with a man who has small balls.
Get well soon N3on. Hopefully your next headline is better. You’re due for one. Last time your name came across my desk wasn’t much better. I’m not exactly sure what’s true and what isn’t, but you gotta get a better PR team.
Popular streamer N3ON’s girlfriend gets called out for cheating on him with other men but refuses to sleep with N3ON because she is “celibate” — N3ON also still remains a virgin. pic.twitter.com/CZqLRHIHOM
